Wishful Thinking Book Three: Replaying the Unsaid
by AJ Maxwell
Summary: COMPLETE! (sequel to All Boxed-Up) Heero and Duo see each other again after 7 years...
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing is not mine. No copyright infringement intended. I am not making money out of this. Original part of the fiction is the property and is copyrighted to the author.  
Category: AU, shounen ai  
Rating: PG  
Pairing/s: 1+2+1, eventual 1x2x1  
Dedication: This is for Emmy-chan. Also, thank you to my beta-reader, Menz-chan for helping me with this. To everyone: Thank you for the glomps, the thwaps, the encouragement, and the love. ::huggles:: And for not sending assassins after me within the week. :) Oh. And this is set SEVEN YEARS after.

Title: Wishful Thinking, Book Three: Replaying the Unsaid (Chapter One)  
Author: AJ Maxwell ( webmaster@weluvduo.zzn.com )

The Indigo, lunch time

Oh God I missed this place! Well, not the hotel, because I'd rarely been in this place in all the eighteen years that I'd lived here, but the surroundings outside. I used to pass by the city in going to school, which I attended for both my grade school and high school education.

I used to think that I'd be insane if I ever thought that I'd attend the nearby university, because I'd lived and breathed this place everyday and every night for eighteen years and I'd be damned if I wasn't sick of it already. That's what I thought when I was suddenly, and *rudely*, I might add--ripped off from the place that I knew--Solo and I.

It wasn't just me who my dad and mom forced to quickly fly to another *continent*, which isn't a neighboring continent to where I am now. Solo, my brother, also had to drop all his subjects when we got to Dad's house--er, mansion, or whatever. As for me, I had to skip graduation day, graduation speech (I called Quatre in the car about the poem that I had to read, telling him that I'd e-mailed it to him with my laptop, and that I'd been lucky that Solo let me in the hurry that we were in. I also told him about what happened, and that I'd be back the next week, but that wasn't the case), saying goodbye to my friends, report card day, and vacation with my friends. I didn't mind when I found out why, though.

Y'see, my old man's really rich with this vineyard of his and cattle farm...well, my old man *was* rich, which brings me to the reason why he suddenly had an untimely need for his sons.

That year, in the middle of March, Mom had to leave Solo and me because Dad had asked her to visit. (They're divorced, okay.) Bro and I didn't know the real reason why she suddenly had to go running to his side, but we didn't argue about it anymore.

The afternoon before my graduation, Mom called and said that we had to fly over at the soonest possible moment because it was really urgent. Solo received the call and had packed my things already, so when I arrived, dreading my cooking task for dinner and feeling as if my lungs were being dragged behind me on the ground, he told me that we had to go, that it was urgent and that he'd explain on the road.

Dad was dying then... cancer. Mom was frantic that we couldn't make it on time, that we wouldn't be able see each other one last time.

It was a weeklong affair. No crying, just happy stuff. The crying came in on the big day itself, but I don't want to elaborate further.

I was really glad that I went, even if I had to miss my graduation day, because I'd missed Dad--his jokes, his laughter, his presence. He used to live with us, you know, in this place, even if he had hectares and hectares of green land and a hulking house, because according to Mom, too much space was stifling. (Heh, good ol' Mom.)

Even if what I only heard were his slightly pained chuckles and his slowly fading presence, I'd willingly miss a hundred graduation days. I bet it's also the same with Solo.

Speaking of Solo, he's staying at the farm. I've always known that he wished that he could've stayed with Dad, but I never said anything about it. I'd also sometimes wished that I was staying with Dad, but one look at Mom made me shove the idea.

As for myself, I'm back here, but not because of personal reasons.

Seven years do a lot to a person, and what those years had done to me--

"Hey, Duo?" Hilde, my sort of publicist, calls at me from the door, "Aren't you going to touch your food? The reporters are going to be here in a minute, and it'd be a while until it's finished."

I draw back the curtain, "Just seeing the sights. I'll eat now. Thanks."

She closes the door. I better eat. There'll be lots of questions and there's also a book signing so I really *must* stuff myself first before I do some wallowing. I'll do some past-digging later, maybe drop by Quatre's if he's still around, or maybe see old classmates; see how they're doin'...

I flip on the TV while I eat, and my gaze brushes over my latest novel. It's my fourth one ( my third bestseller!! ^_^), and the front page's dedication is bound to raise more personal questions.

This is how it goes:

~HY,

Your cameo appearances  
In dream-spun movies  
Prove that my soul  
Misses you.

DM~

Yeah, yeah, I know. "Duo?!?!?! You're *STILL* hung up on Yuy?!?!?!??!?!" I *know*, okay? Ya don't hafta tell me something that I know with my very soul. I'm still hung up on him--so what? *Don't* accuse me of being such a lovesick sap; I know that, too.

°¤.¤°

"So, Mr. Maxwell, it says here that this novel is one that is closest to your heart. Would this be, say, autobiographical?"

Damn it! I hate it when they do that. First questions always leave me stunned. "Uhm..." I cough. Dammit, "Yeah it is," I blurt out, "But it's not necessarily *closest* to my heart. Everything that I write is *from* my heart and soul, so there isn't really anything that's closest, or not too close, or far." I nod amiably to the reporter, "And please call me Duo. Everyone does."

"Alright, Duo."

"Duo," fires another one. "I'm just curious about the title. Can you please explain why it's entitled 'Replaying the Unsaid', when technically, there is nothing to replay because there's nothing there."

I grin. This is so much fun! "That's just it, y'know. The novel is about unrequited love, and since I did admit that the novel is sort of autobiographical, I am just telling the story of the unrequited love. Since it already happened, I'm just 'Replaying the Unsaid'."

"So, if this is just *sort of* autobiographical, as you put it, how much did you change, and are there drastic changes from the truth?"

"I changed the names, places, and there are also mild changes and drastic changes. For example, I changed my name, but you'd know soon enough who I'm supposed to be in the novel, because I also inserted my original poetry. I won't elaborate on how drastic the changes are because that will already be telling the globe of my whole life story. But the novel basically conveys what happened," I answer, then afterwards I drink some water.

"We'll pause for a short break. Fifteen minutes," Hilde announces.

°¤.¤°

The reporters mill about, as afternoon tea/coffee is served. Hilde comes up to me with a cup. "Here. I noticed that you're kind of frayed. Still not used to this?"

I take the tea gratefully and answer, "It's always the first question."

"Yeah. They can be so perfectly blunt but that's their job, you know."

"Yeah." I take a sip.

"By the way, there's someone who's been trying to set up a one-on-one interview with you, a reporter from The Grey, saying she knows you and that you'd say yes to the interview," she informs me.

I raise a curious eyebrow. "Name?"

"Chang Meiran. Ring any bell?"

My eyebrows knit together in concentration. Meiran...Meiran...Chang. Chang Wufei. Meiran. Wufei, Meiran. "Oh god, they're married?!!" I exclaim, a brilliant smile suddenly lifting my face. "But of course! She was my editor back in high school! Wow. Tell her I'm free any time. As soon as possible."

Hilde smirks at my sudden chipper mood. "Whatever you say. Lunch interview okay for tomorrow?"

I nod enthusiastically. "Sure! That'd be great! Thanks, Hilde!"

She just looks at me weirdly, saying, "I think you should cut down the coffee."

I just blink at her innocently, "But this is *tea*!"

°¤.¤°

I eagerly go out to take a walk in the park, just several blocks from the hotel. Man! As nice and smooth as that press conference went, I still need some fresh air.

I wonder who I might see today.

Hmm...scratch that. I'll just admit that I hope that I'd see someone that we all know, thanks to my eternal pining. There's this feeling of anticipation inside of me, this hot and cold roiling feeling that manages to steal my breath for a few seconds.

I used to feel this way, too, during my time at the farm. The view of rolling cattle might do some peaceful unknotting in my head, but it can be damn boring that my thoughts had tended to turn another way, towards the more turbulent thoughts.

And Heero Yuy whips up more than a storm.

I see that there are new buildings here and that there are more cars. Booming population, I must say, compared to seven years before. Now where the hell is that park?

I take my booted feet onwards, letting my slightly rusty memory guide me. I must be a sight to all these afternoon people. Still favoring the all-black attire.

I look like I stepped out of a modern day action flick with my knee-high black leather boots, black jeans, and black longsleeved shirt that has its three top buttons free, showing the gold chain of my cross pendant. Contrary to my past lifestyle, I now wear a watch, which has cross-shaped minute and hour hands.

I walk further, turning at random corners that I think I remember. At last, I reach my destination.

There, on the tree that I used to sit on and write, are the carvings of:

~Wishing to be drenched with Prussian blue rain

DM to HY~

**. t o b e c o n t i n u e d .**


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing is not mine. No copyright infringement intended. I am not making money out of this. Original part of the fiction is the property and is copyrighted to the author.  
Category: AU, shounen ai  
Rating: PG  
Pairing/s: 1+2/2+1, eventual 1x2/2x1   
WARNINGS: sap, some OOCness, some angst  
Dedication: This is for Emmy-chan.  


Title: Wishful Thinking, Book Three: Replaying the Unsaid (Chapter Two)  
Author: AJ Maxwell ( webmaster@weluvduo.zzn.com )

Seven years, and Heero Yuy was finally going back home. 

He thought at first that leaving and making money on his own was the right thing to do. There was nothing wrong with making himself rich, but as the years went by, his decision proved not to be so good for him. Yes, it was true that he could afford having his own house and brand new car. He was consistently climbing up the ladder of the corporate world; every one of his colleagues and associates respected him, and some even admired or envied him. Though he could be honestly declared successful, he could also honestly declare himself lonely, and very much more alone than before. 

He thought that it was nothing, being apart from his handful of friends, and his family. He _was_ able to stand it when he went away for college, but then, he mused, seven years could really change a person's perspective. 

That was why he was aboard a plane, going back home. He was finally going home, and to hell with his empty house and meaningless car. He was going back to where he came from, where he belonged. Most probably, the change will make his life less empty, and yes, less sad. 

He couldn't wait to be back. 

=== 

"Yes, yes, I know. But there was an announcement that his flight will be late," Zechs paused to listen to the speaker at the other end of the line. "Of course I'll bring him there safely. Do you realize whom you're talking to? Une, I want to talk to Trowa." He rolled his pale blue eyes as he half-listened, half-ignored his friend's protests. Flipping his long platinum blond hair as the strands were toyed with by the wind, he waited as the phone was passed to the green-eyed man. "Yes. Is everything ready? Good.... everything's perfect then. Okay. Now all we have to do is wait--" 

"Whom are you waiting for?" came a slightly nasal voice behind him. "Must be somebody quite special, seeing as you are as frazzled as you are." 

"Heero! Trowa, he's here!" the taller man said delightedly to the phone and Heero. 

The two longtime friends--almost brothers--hugged, spurred by their joy at seeing each other after such a long time. The dark-haired man's movements were a bit awkward; he still wasn't used to expressing his feelings through touch, but Zechs just ignored it. He tightened his embrace around Heero. "I'm so glad you decided to come back. We all are," he said as he hugged Heero closer. "Une missed you a lot. She said she didn't have a little brother to torment anymore." 

The two men drew back, and Zechs led his friend to the car. "And Trowa's never been the same since Quatre..." Heero's voice caught in his throat. 

Zechs remained silent, and opted to speak when he finally got the car on the road. "But he's been better, you know," he said gently. "I think that your business venture with him is helping a lot." 

"You think so?" Heero looked out the window, not really looking at anything in particular. "I should've done this ages ago. I should've been there, and not--" 

"Don't think about it anymore, Heero. What's important is that you're home. Right?" 

_Yes, that's right. I'm home. _"Yes." 

Instead of going straight home (so that Une could finally torment Heero again), Zechs parked by a newly opened restaurant, and looked at Heero expectantly. 

Heero looked at him expressionlessly. Then, with some disbelief in his voice, "This is the restaurant?" 

Zechs beamed at him. "Trowa's waiting inside. He couldn't wait for you to see everything." 

"B-but I thought..." 

"Well, surprise!" 

Trowa welcomed Heero with tight hugs as he and Zechs came into the restaurant. As he was in the company of true friends, he felt delicious stirrings of warmth and overflowing happiness that he found to be addictive. He once again berated himself for staying away for so long. 

Zechs left as quickly as he came with Heero, saying that Une expected him to bring Heero's luggage and to help her with last minute preparations around the house. Heero and Trowa agreed, with Trowa inviting his longhaired friend for lunch the next day. 

As the two men were halfway through their dessert, the emerald-eyed man opened up another topic. "Have you heard?" 

"What?" 

"He's back in town. Meiran's interviewing him as we speak." 

"Who's back in town," Heero asked absently, spearing a slice of his almond jelly with is fork, and looking expectantly at Trowa. 

"Look to your left." 

Heero shifted his gaze to his left, and saw Duo laughing and having a great time with Meiran over lunch. 

Time stood still. It felt like everything stopped, but various kinds of feeling assaulted him from all sides. He was overwhelmed speechless, and he couldn't think straight. 

He couldn't think, period. 

The unspoken question of why Duo was there hung in the air, and as always, Trowa knew his friend enough to answer. "He's a famous best-selling author, in case you've been too holed up in making money for the past seven years to know. He's in town to promote his latest novel, and there had been a book signing yesterday--a press conference, too. I also heard that he's moving on to London two days from now." 

Heero just nodded, and took everything wordlessly, his feelings unreadable in his eyes. 

Trowa looked at his friend with calculating eyes, choosing his words carefully. "Do you...want to get reacquainted with them?" 

Heero shook his head slightly.

"Why don't you want to say hi?" Trowa persistently asked at his friend's negative reply. "It's been a long time, and Meiran is a friend at least. She'd been looking forward to your arrival when I told her. She even offered to give our new restaurant free publicity." 

The stoic dark-haired man remained quiet; he could not voice his distress to his best friend. 

"It's him, isn't it?" the green-eyed man prodded him. When Heero kept silent, he was overwhelmed with the discovery. Of course, he had been with his best friend during those days when Heero obsessed about Duo. He was there every step of the way, but he thought it was just that: an obsession. He thought that Heero would get over Duo in time, but seven years obviously wasn't enough. "So, after seven years, Heero? It's still him. He truly is the love of your life. I can't believe you didn't even tell me." 

This time, Heero broke his silence with a smile, "You never asked." 

Trowa drove him back home, and had dinner with him, Une, and Zechs. After the long talks, laughter, and hugs, his friends left for their homes, and Heero found himself dead tired, but content as well. He realized he never felt such peace and contentment. 

He went up to his room, and he couldn't help thinking about who he'd seen at the restaurant. Duo looked so fine. He lost the cheekiness of his face, but the slender yet masculine form suited him, and made him even sexier in Heero's eyes. He was also taller, as tall as himself, if not a bit taller. And those broad shoulders and smooth, graceful neck... 

Heero shook his head to clear it, but thoughts of the violet-eyed beauty wouldn't leave him. 

_So he writes professionally now. I'm glad he ended up doing what he always loved. I'm not even surprised of his success. I wonder how he is right now...how he's been for the last seven years? Is he married? Does he have kids already? Why is he leaving so soon?_

He made it to his old room and turned the knob. Inside, he felt the wall for the switch, and soon after the room was flooded with warm, soothing light. 

He made his way to his bed, and as he was doing so, his right foot connected with something that slid on the floor with the impact. He looked down, his brown hair falling over his eyes. 

It was the box. 

He was surprised that the box was still there. Then, as he picked it up, absently noting that it was dust-free , he realized that he was glad that the box was still around. 

_I thought Une had done away with this years ago._

He sat on the bed, cradling the box that accompanied him for nearly half of his life, on his denim-clad lap. He opened it, and the contents poured out--his life. The past, the present, and his possible future collided against him with a force that was stunning. 

Briefly he remembered that time during graduation day. He remembered the nervousness that he felt when he prepared himself to give the box--his heart--that could have changed his life forever. And when Duo didn't show up, he remembered the pain, and how empty he was.

Heero lifted the cover out of habit, and picked a random piece of paper that preserved one of Duo's writings.

~Wasting away in young life,  
Fading into nothingness,  
Diluting into space, not time nor gravity can destroy,  
Pulverized to minuscule invisibility,  
I try to embrace you, but you're too small, too insubstantial;  
Naked eyes cannot fathom, but my heart can feel yours;  
Isn't it a mystery then? I try to grasp you with my hands,  
But you slip away;  
I finally tie my heartstrings around you, though blindly;  
I feel your pull, and your life slowly merging with mine;  
You are still alive, you are alive;  
Welcome to the world.~ 

It suddenly occurred to him, with shocking clarity, that there was still a gaping emptiness in his soul that he knew only Duo could fill.

He had nothing to lose. He reached his age, and he did what he thought would fill the void that he felt. Back then, he failed. With his failure, he was afraid to try again. Maybe, if he took another chance...who knows? Only Duo would know the answer, and it was high time that he told him.

With firmed resolution, he said to himself, "You're not going anywhere until I've had my say, Duo." 

**. t o b e c o n t i n u e d .**


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing is not mine. No copyright infringement intended. I am not making money out of this. Original part of the fiction is the property and is copyrighted to the author.   
Category: AU, shounen ai   
Rating: PG   
Pairing/s: 1+2+1, eventual 1x2x1   
WARNINGS: ANGST and DEATH, sap, some OOCness  
Dedication: This is for Emmy-chan

Title: Wishful Thinking Book Three: Replaying the Unsaid (Chapter Three)  
Author: AJ Maxwell ( webmaster@weluvduo.zzn.com )

Duo just couldn't stop smiling. "So, is that all? No more questions about the novel?"

Meiran shook her head, also smiling as she sipped some of her iced tea. "I think that's it, but I'm not really sure. I'll just ask you later when I think of some more questions."

He nodded, eyes alight with interest. "So, I guess it's only fair that I be the interrogator even once in our conversation. How have you been and Wu?"

The Chinese woman called a waiter first for more iced tea before replying, "You know, Duo, it only occurred to me that you were the only one who dared--and got away--calling Wufei nicknames, aside from myself, of course. Anyway, I'm doing great. Not as great as you, but working on the paper is very fulfilling. It's what I always hoped for, and more. Sometimes things not go so well, but you wouldn't know how happy I am to be working with my husband."

"Yeah, I heard, Mrs. Chang. How long have you two been married?"

The two of them talked all throughout their main course. As Duo was ordering dessert and more drinks, Meiran leafed through the book again. "You know," she began as the waiter left. "I think I know who your heroine is."

"Oh?" Duo replied flippantly, as if it was old news and meant nothing to him. Inside, he felt like crouching a little lower, embarrassed to be still mooning over his high school crush--if one could still call it a mere crush--into adulthood.

"And he's just right over my shoulder, to my right."

Duo blinked, wary of jokes. "Right."

Meiran rolled her eyes. "Duo, would I lie to you?"

"No shit."

"Look."

There was a split-second of utter fear as he debated with himself. Finally, he looked discreetly to his left, sliding his eyes over a vision that he craved for years. _No major changes. His hair is as messy as I remember it, but there's something about him now. His timid air from before is gone, and his eyes seem unrestrained, challenging._

Meiran looked at her friend, gauging the look of longing in those violet eyes. She reached for Duo's hand on the table, and squeezed it gently. "Heero just came back. He's also been gone for as long as you were_, _but he visited occasionally. I heard from Trowa that he's staying for good. He left his job and sold his properties to stay here permanently. I think he just arrived."

The longhaired man was silent, still unable to drag his eyes away. _So, he also left. I wonder how life was for him, away from his family and friends. I wonder what made him leave._ His musings were broken by his friend's voice. "Wanna say hi?"

He quickly shook his head. "No. I don't think I'm ready yet, Mei. I've always dreamed about our meeting, but now that it's here, it's like I'm petrified, y'know? I just can't. Maybe next time I see him--"

Meiran nearly threw her hands in the air. "But that's bullshit, Duo," she cussed, frustrated at how her friend was handling things. "It's been a long time, and you still love him...and you're leaving the day after tomorrow! What's so hard with going over there and saying hi for five minutes? At least you'll finally be introduced."

Meiran was right. Duo gave in, and tried to swallow the nervous lump in his throat. "Okay," he croaked.

The two of them stood, with Duo shuddering at the knees, and looking at his appearance. He brushed nonexistent crumbs off his shirt and pants, and pasted on a smile. "I can do this."

"Uh...Duo?" came Meiran.

He looked up. "Wha--?" He knew.

From the corner of his eyes, he could see the table being cleared by a waiter. 

He had nothing to say.

It was already pouring cats and dogs outside when Duo reached his hotel room. His mad dash from The Grey's offices to his temporary sanctuary left him panting, and his sides aching. It was great to see Wufei again, and like the old days, he was up for prickling, but friendly, banter. 

Of course, there was also the sharp tongue of Mrs. Chang to be careful of. 

Though he did not spend a considerably long time with the Changs, it was long enough for one of them to tell him (not without much debating who should tell him) that Quatre was gone. 

_It was so stupid of me. I even thought they were pulling my leg and Q-man would jump out of nowhere to give me a heart attack. I even thought that they meant that Quatre went somewhere, like, to Saudi Arabia. But no. Oh god. Why didn't I think of this before, when he stopped e-mailing me two years ago? That was two years ago and I didn't even ask one of his sisters what the hell happened!_

Duo didn't know if the weather complimented his mood. He'd been so happy at first, and there was Heero at the restaurant, and then there was Wufei. 

_Then there's the news about Quatre._

"Two-year-old news…what kind of a friend am I?" he muttered, berating himself. 

But he couldn't find the tears to mourn for his best friend. All he could do was fall onto the bed, his eyes staring at the ceiling, and seeing nothing. 

The elation that he felt at lunch was gone. He couldn't summon the familiar feeling of longing for Heero. He couldn't remember the jokes, and the laughter that he shared with Wufei and Meiran. He couldn't remember a thing that had happened to him that day. 

"I should have known," he whispered into the air. "It's been two years...I should've heard it from someone, somewhere. I should've known, should've asked one of his sisters...even Rashid. Rashid would've sent me a letter about it...I should've known where and when he was buried..." 

Slowly, Duo curled into himself; a round lump on the king-sized bed. 

He knew, that even if he berated himself over and over again, that it was useless. He couldn't have called one of Quatre's sisters, because he barely remembered them. He had fleeting memories of Aria...Iria? He wasn't even certain. As for Rashid, he knew the big guy would've sent him a message, but he didn't receive anything. There was nothing. 

"What the hell am I doing?!??!!!!" he shouted suddenly, eyes ablaze with self-disgust. "He's dead and all I can do is make excuses for not knowing?!!!" 

He wanted to cry, he really did. He wanted to get rid of the feeling inside his chest. He wasn't familiar with it; it was neither pain nor sadness, yet he'd prefer both for the gaping hole that he felt. 

He bit his lip futilely, trying to induce pain so that it would take over the emptiness. He wanted to cut himself, to hit his head on the walls so that he wouldn't have to feel that horrible feeling, but his limbs felt too heavy, as if they were encased in concrete that was fifteen tons in weight. 

_Let me sleep, _he begged silently, addressing no one. _Please let me sleep._

Trowa had just come back from Heero's house when he chanced upon the phone ringing. "Hello." 

"Trowa? This is Meiran. Can you do me a favor, please?" 

He quickly picked up on the anxiety in the woman's voice. Frowning a little, he said, "What's the matter?" 

After he put down the phone, he still couldn't understand why Meiran asked him to go to Duo Maxwell, but he would. 

Duo didn't know when the knocking started, but deep down he was relieved to be distracted from staring at the ceiling, and other things. 

As he dragged his arms and legs to cooperate, he briefly wondered who it was behind the door. "Must be Hilde," he mumbled, and made his way to open the door. 

When he opened it, he couldn't recognize the person for a few moments, but when he did, "...Trowa?" 

He wasn't expecting him. 

The tall man nodded. "You look like hell." 

Duo blinked a few more times, as if seeing an apparition. Then, from out of nowhere, a strangled sob broke loose from his throat. 

The dam crumbled at last. 

He fell into Trowa's arms, crying, much to the bewilderment of the green-eyed man. 

"Duo? What's wrong, Duo?" 

It was then that those violet eyes looked up at him, tearstained and anguished. 

Suddenly, he knew without asking. He tightened his arms around his late friend's best friend, and let his bottled tears flow freely. 

He couldn't believe how much of a relief it was to let it all out after two years of dismissing the grief.

~Sadly sitting on a bench  
With the wind blowing on my hair,  
The scent of storm tickling my nose,  
And drops of rain touch my cheeks. 

Soon more raindrops follow suit,  
But still I sadly sit, not having a route;  
Sadly sitting, still uncaring  
Of the drops of rain that soak my clothing.

Dark clouds unleash thunder and lightning,  
And still I sadly sit, still uncaring,  
'Til teardrops join in the raining,  
One by one dropping, in the rain diluting.

The fiercest of storms is upon me,  
And all the sadness, the madness, the tears, and pain  
All howl in the storm inside me,  
Outside of me, in sync with the rain.

Alas, the storm dies down to light sprinkles,  
And I, on the bench, still sit, not sadly, though;  
Then the rain ceases; the dew twinkles,  
And now I care to wait for the morrow.

The sun peeks out of the rain,  
And I look up when I hear the sounds  
Of chirping birds dancing around a tree,  
And I, for once in a long while, am free.~

**. t o b e c o n t i n u e d .**


	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing is not mine. No copyright infringement intended. I am not making money out of this. Original part of the fiction is the property and is copyrighted to the author.   
Category: AU, shounen ai   
Rating: PG   
Pairings: 1+2+1, eventual 1x2x1, 5xM, some 2+3+2 (this part only)  
WARNINGS: sap, some OOCness, some angst, and 2+3+2 lime  
Completed: Feb. 10, 2002  
Dedication: This is for Emmy-chan. Lots of thanks to Menz-chan for being such a great beta-reader. 

Title: Wishful Thinking Book Three: Replaying the Unsaid (Chapter Four)  
Author: AJ Maxwell ( webmaster@weluvduo.zzn.com )

While the winds continued to whistle eerily just beyond the suite's glass windows, the torrent of grief slowly abated, until it only droned like muted static; unheard, unseen, unfelt at the moment, but still there. A lone sconce was lighted by a fumbling hand some time in the mourning, and the air conditioning was turned on several minutes after the heartfelt, and soul-wrenching sobs died down.

Trowa, puzzled by the fact that Duo hadn't known about Quatre's death until that day, was about to ask why and how but then decided against it. Asking now might add to the pain and guilt that Duo was already experiencing and that was something he had no intention of doing. Finally, he broke the silence.

"Meiran told you?"

Duo sniffled, then answered. "Yeah. She sent you here?"

"Yes."

There was silence again.

"I'm just gonna get some tissues," said Duo, lethargically getting on his feet. "My nose is icky." Duo smiled feebly.

Trowa returned the smiled in the semi-darkness. "Mine too."

"I'll get you some as well." He stated then disappeared into the depths of the suite. 

The tall, lanky man stood up from where he was sitting on the floor Then sat himself on one of the plush couches of the suite's living room.

_It feels different to be with Duo now_, he realized, _When Quatre was alive we barely talked to each other, we didn't even hang out together. Back then, Quatre was like the bridge between us; he was my best friend next to Heero, I was his best friend next to Duo, and he was Duo's best friend. Why is it that we never got to be close friends?_ He sighed. _I always felt awkward when there were the three of us...I felt like I was only tagging along...I always wished that that awkwardness would evaporate, but I guess that came at a high price._

"I'm back," the braided writer pronounced as he bounded into the living room, a box of tissues in his hand.

"Here, Tro. Tissues galore." Duo sat down next to Trowa on the couch and fiddled with his braid for a few seconds, then offered, "The bathroom's that way."

Trowa looked up and gazed at Duo for a few moments before replying.

"Thanks."

Time passed in a blur between the two. They talked about anything and everything. Mainly things like themselves, what they had been up to for the last seven years, but most of all, a young blonde-haired man was the main focus of their conversation.

"Did Quatre ever tell you?"

Duo propped his chin on his right hand and looked at Trowa, mild curiosity sparking in his Violet eyes. "Did Quatre ever tell me about what?"

Trowa stared at the ceiling for a moment, trying to find a way to break this to the braided companion.

"About...about the two of us."

Leaning on his elbows, Duo neared Trowa until his face was looming over the green-eyed man's face.

"What I know is that the two of you were best friends. Was there more?"

Trowa nodded imperceptibly, which the other man did not see in the lack of light, but felt the movement on the couch beneath him. "We loved each other, but it wasn't the kind of love that was..." he searched for a word, "usual. I know that every love has its own uniqueness, but ours was really different. Really different."

Duo blinked in confusion. "What do you mean, Trowa?"

He was answered with a sigh, and Trowa continued, "In the span of our friendship, we usually talked about our music, and about the girls we liked the most. When we both went to college, we discovered that our feelings for each other had somehow evolved into something deeper, yet the bonds of friendship were still strongly intact--"

"Are you saying," Duo said slowly, still digesting what he heard, "that you loved each other, but your friendship held both of you back?"

"That about sums it up," agreed Trowa. "It was like, whenever we kissed each other, there was a part of us that reveled in the beauty of it, and there was a part that screamed otherwise."

"So what did you do?"

"We agreed to be friends."

"That's it?!"

Trowa nodded, his bangs brushed against Duo's. It was then that he realized how close Duo really was.

Duo couldn't believe it. _Didn't they love each other enough to make it work? Wasn't it enough? _His mind raged desperately inside him. He had always been a firm advocate of love, even if he knew that it was completely naive of him in this world. _Is it really true that love isn't always enough?_

So lost he was in his reflections that he wasn't aware of how close he was to Trowa, until he felt warm, inviting lips brushing against his.

One, two, three seconds, until they didn't know anymore who was underneath whom or who was straddling whom.

Hardness thrust against answering hardness. A jolt of pleasure shot through them like a bolt of lightning, but instead of feeding the fire that grew out of nowhere, it drenched any telltale flame. Not even a wisp of smoke was left.

"I'm sorry," they chorused, still panting in the darkness.

_What the hell happened?!?! Heero is my best friend! How could I do this to him?_

_Oh gods...he'd just told me that he was in love with my dead best friend, and not an hour after I'm making out with him?!?! What the hell was I thinking?! Was I thinking at all?_

"I'm really sorry, Duo," Trowa apologized again. "I didn't mean to. I-i miss Quatre so badly and I…just wasn't thinking!"

Duo held his head in both hands as he answered, "Look, man, I'm sorry, too. It won't happen again."

Trowa nodded resolutely. "It won't happen again.

"It was just an accident. Wasn't meant to happen..."

"And it's good that we stopped on time. Not early enough to prevent the other things, but-"

"I know but we still stopped and it was only a kiss. Nothing happened."

"We stopped. Yes."

The two tried to catch their breath again, this time from frantically reassuring one another that nothing of it was meant to happen. When they were finally calm enough, the uneasy silence stretched.

_I admit that there was something there,_ Trowa considered, _It wasn't like with Quatre. I know, if given the chance, there could be something special with Duo,_ He winced. _But that's what I'm afraid of._

It seemed that the other man was also thinking on the same lines, because what he said next was actually a consoling rejection, and confession.

"You know, if I wasn't so hung up on Heero, you and I might've had a chance."

The statement did not bother Trowa but Duo said something about still having feelings for Heero, which excited him all at once.

_All this time they'd been running in circles like--like headless chickens!_ He smacked himself, and proclaimed, "He's still in love with you!"

Duo was still trying to catch his breath. "H-huh?"

Trowa already got up, and was pacing the room. "Remember when I gave him your letter?"

"Yeah?"

"I told him it was from you."

There was a pause, then, "What'd he say?"

"He was going to tell you how much he loved you on graduation day."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?" Duo sprung off the king-sized bed with such speed and jubilation that Trowa was startled to find himself being glomped by his braided friend.

"Do you mean that?! Is that true, Tro?!! Oh Gods!!! He was going to do _that_??!"

"Yes," he replied, trying to pry off the braided bundle of elation. "Let *cough* go! *wheeze* Can't breathe! *gasp* "

Duo let Trowa go, after staring, for a few moments, at the rather unusual shade of blue his face was turning, then bounced up and down on the couch happily. "And he still loves me?"

The sight of the violet-eyed man bouncing on the couch and grinning like a maniac made Trowa laugh for the first time in two years.

"Yes, Duo. He still loves you."

"YES!" He stopped bouncing, and laughed along with Trowa. The whole day had been such an emotional roller coaster ride, for the both of them but he was damn happy that the ride had ended without them both rushing to the nearest trash can to throw-up in.

**. t o b e c o n t i n u e d .**


	5. Chapter Five

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing is not mine. No copyright infringement intended. I am not making money out of this. Original part of the fiction is the property and is copyrighted to the author.   
Category: AU, shounen ai   
Rating: PG   
Pairings: 1+2+1, eventual 1x2x1, 5xM, hinted 13+6+13, 9+11+9  
WARNINGS: sap, some angst  
Completed: Apr 27, 2003  
Dedication: This is for Emmy-chan. Lots of thanks to Menz-chan for being such a great beta-reader.  
Author's Notes: There's lots of talking as some questions are answered.   


Title: Wishful Thinking Book Three: Replaying the Unsaid (Chapter Five)  
Author: AJ Maxwell ( webmaster@weluvduo.zzn.com )

Heero Yuy got up early that day, his mind more alert than before since he defined his new mission. _Duo will be leaving tomorrow. There is no time to waste. Either tell him or die trying. This has got to end. If he doesn't want me anymore, then I'll just go on with my life. It's been too long...I'm done living in fantasies and what ifs._

As he went to the kitchen, he was surprised to see his older sister Une cooking breakfast. "Good morning."

"You're up early. You going to drop by the restaurant?"

He sat himself at one of the stools around the small kitchen table. "Maybe later. I still have something more important to finish."

"Hm? Like what? You gonna look for ex girlfriends?"

Heero's face opted a bored expression. _She hasn't changed. Why is it that I'm cursed with such a nosy, sadistic older sister that even when I'm already twenty-five, she's still pestering me? _"Why don't you get a boyfriend and settle down?" he asked instead. "It will do you a lot of good if you have someone to bother other than me."

"Oh, but that won't be as fun as torturing my baby brother Hee-chan, now, will that?" Une followed the nickname with a pinch on Heero's nose.

Baby Hee-chan just sighed. _I _really _have to look for my own place._

After breakfast, Heero searched the phone directory for Chang Wufei's number. He was not disappointed. After four rings, the call was answered.

"Hello?"

He blinked at the familiar voice of the woman. "Uh, hello. May I speak with Wufei, please?"

The woman at the other end paused for a while, then said hesitantly, "Heero Yuy?"

"Yes."

There was an excited giggle at the other end of the line, and Heero almost wondered if Wufei was living with a psycho.

"Heero, this is Meiran. How are you?"

He brightened. "Oh, it's you. So that's why your voice sounded familiar. I'm fine, I'm fine."

"That's great to hear. My husband is still in the shower. What is it that you want from him? Maybe I can help you."

"I just called to ask Duo Maxwell's whereabouts."

"FINALLY someone is taking the first move!" Meiran exclaimed at the other end. "Took you long enough!"

After Heero wrote down the information, he thanked Meiran, and promised to talk to Duo.

"Make sure that you _do _talk, and not just gape at each other, okay?"

Heero chuckled at that. "I'm just as eager as you to have this over with. Thanks again."

"So, where are we headed again?" asked Duo as he re-plaited his hair.

Trowa ran his fingers through his bangs to smooth out some of the tangles, and replied, "We'll just drop by my house for me to change into new clothes, then we set off to Heero's house, so that the two of you can settle things once and for all."

As the two men rode the elevator, Duo was once again gripped by uncertainty, which nearly frustrated Trowa out of his skin.

"Duo..." he complained.

The braided writer sighed, gripping the hardbound book in his hands. "How would you really know if he still loves me? He'd been away for seven years, and yesterday was the only time that you were able to really talk to him." He shook his head. "What if he already has a girlfriend--or boyfriend--who's gonna follow him here so that they can live happily ever after, and he hasn't told you yet because yesterday was...was for greetings and reuniting?"

"You're unbelievable," said Trowa, shaking his head as well. "Do you want proof?"

Duo scrutinized him. "Can you give it?"

"Okay. I'll re-enact to you what we talked about last night after dinner." Trowa cleared his throat first, then said in a nasal, Heeroesque way, "Do you think he already has a girlfriend?" shifted to his natural speech, "Duo? I don't think so." "You think he still--" "Yes, I do." "But you still don't know what I was going to ask." "You were gonna ask if I think that he still feels something for you. I think that he still likes you." "How do you know that?" "Just a hunch." Then he imitates Heero's facial expression, sighing, with a wistful yet dreamy look on his face.

They were already exiting the hotel, and Duo smiled up at Trowa.

Smiling back, he said, "He's really fallen for you, Duo. Believe me."

The reassurance sent delicious tingles up Duo's spine, and he impulsively glomped onto Trowa's arm. "I hope so. I really hope so."

Trowa sighed exasperatedly. "He is."

Heero stood, with his box in his right hand, across the hotel where Duo stayed.

_I can do this. If Trowa was here, I know he'd be cheering me on. I can do this._

But as Heero took his first step to cross the street, something at the entrance caught his eyes.

Duo and...Trowa!?

_What the heck is going on?_ his mind raced. _And why is it that Trowa's still wearing his clothes from yesterday? Is he keeping something from me?_

_No, no, no, _he quickly denied to himself, even if hot, scalding jealousy was trying to overcome him. _Trowa won't do that. He's my best friend. Besides, he's been there for me since... _Heero's thoughts trailed as he saw the overjoyed smile that Duo gave Trowa. His best friend smiled back, and said something. _What _is _going on?_

Then, Duo glomped onto Trowa's arm.

Heero's faltering grip on his calm snapped, and did the first thing that came to mind.

He ran.

Duo thought he was going to burst. Or faint. Or both. He couldn't understand anything that the older woman was saying; he could only tell that her lips were moving, but more than that, he was lost.

He was so excited to finally be talking to Heero.

All he heard was garbled speech by two speakers. He was so busy thinking of what he would say to Heero, that he failed to respond when Trowa called his name.

"Do you think your friend is okay?" Une asked Trowa anxiously. "He doesn't seem to be breathing anymore."

"Duo." The taller man shook and prodded him. "Duo, we have to go now. Heero isn't here."

The braided man blinked to clear his vision, and focused on his friend. "What?"

Trowa was frowning at him. "Are you all right?"

He nodded, but he was still sort of out of it. "Yeah. Fine."

"Do you need some water?" Une offered, not trusting the longhaired man's expression. "Come in for a while."

The two men stepped inside, with the taller man leading the longhaired man to the sofa.

"What were you saying again, Tro?"

"About what?"

"About Heero. He's here, isn't he?"

The brown-haired woman came back with a glass of water, and gave it to Duo. He drank the water absently, while Trowa thanked his best friend's older sister. "Did he tell you where he was going?"

Une just sighed, and shrugged. "I asked him, and all he said was that he was going to do something important. He also mentioned that he might drop by the restaurant. He didn't say anything else."

Trowa nodded, then glanced at Duo, who appeared deflated. "Is that so? I think we should be going now."

"Okay. I'll just tell him that you came here looking for him if he comes back early."

"That'll be great, Une. If he does come back early, please tell him to meet me at the restaurant."

"Will do."

"So, will you be okay?" asked Trowa. "The restaurant will open in a few hours, and I have to get supplies and take care of everything before lunch time." He was worried that Duo might change his mind, but he had a huge responsibility on his shoulders. His friend seemed so fragile, and his lack of self-confidence, though it frustrated him to the roots of his hair, made him more hesitant in leaving him on his own.

Duo patted him on the back. "I'll be fine, Tro. Don't worry too much about little ol' me. I'll find him eventually, and I'm not going to back out."

"You promise?"

"Promise."

Heero absentmindedly sipped his tea, his fourth cup that morning. It was almost noon, and he had been sitting under the umbrella of the coffee shop for a couple of hours. The world sped by in a blur, and he still couldn't get the vision of his best friend with his only love out of his mind. He still tried to rationalize with himself, denied that his best friend would betray him like that, but seeing Duo smiling like that to someone else...

"Heero? What are you doing here?"

The familiar voice snapped him out of his dark thoughts. He looked up to see Zechs pulling the chair next to him. "Drinking."

Zechs fought to roll his eyes heavenward. "I can see that, Heero. I was just wondering what brought you here, at this time. I don't recall that you frequented coffee shops, and isn't it that you're supposed to be at the restaurant?"

Heero snorted. "And I'm amazed that you're awake at this time."

The older man was about to retort, when his eyes caught sight of something that delighted him. "Oh, what's this?"

It was a paperback that someone forgot. The blond man inspected it, turning a few pages and skimmed through the introduction. "Duo Maxwell? Why does that name sound familiar?"

The dark-haired man bit back a groan.

The other man just looked at him, his brows slightly furrowed. "Ah, I remember him. He was also my student, back when you were sophomores, right? Violet eyes, braid... he was quite spectacular to look at."

"Yeah...he is."

Zechs placed the book back on the chair beside his. "You know, Heero, I don't mean to intrude, but Trowa mentioned something about you and Duo."

The mention of his best friend's name and his love's name in one sentence did not make him feel better. "Really. What did he say?"

Zechs leaned closer to Heero, his long blond hair falling forwards to frame his face. "He said that you've been crazy over Duo since you were in first grade. He also said that the only thing that he wished for you was to be with the one you love."

Heero felt heartened by his friend's words, but there was still some bitterness left in him. "Then what was he doing with Duo all night?"

Pale blue eyes widened. "What? You must be mistaken--"

"I'm not," he interrupted, then sighed. "I saw them leaving the hotel together, and Trowa was still in his clothes from last night."

"That can't be--"

"And they were so sweet together, holding each other and smiling like--like sickening lovebirds or something." Heero's mood darkened.

"But Trowa can't do that," Zechs protested. "Trowa won't do that to you, Heero. Surely you don't think that he'd betray you"

"I know. I'm just trying to will the jealousy away before I look for Duo again. I'm supposed to talk to him, and, well, there," he finished lamely.

Zechs smiled a little. "But you should know that your jealousy is unreasonable. Trowa would never do that to you. As for talking to Duo, I think that the sooner you talk to him, the better."

Heero nodded. "I'll talk to him..."

"You'll look for him _right now_ and talk to him."

"Okay, okay."

The two friends stood from their seats to go on their separate ways. The blond man hugged Heero to comfort him, saying, "Don't feel bad like that. Everything will be just fine."

Duo had looked almost everywhere. His knees were tired, and his stomach grumbled again. He wondered if he would ever find Heero.

He turned a corner, and hope fluttered in his chest when he was sure that he'd never looked around that area yet. _I hope I'll see him here._

And, as if the heavens heeded his prayer, he came upon a coffee shop, with its tables under the shade of striped umbrellas. He almost cried out in triumph as he saw Heero's familiar unruly mop of hair.

His smile was blinding. At last he was going to talk to Heero!

He half ran, half walked briskly to reach the coffee shop. He almost buzzed in excitement, and when he realized how ridiculous he must look, he blushed. He should calm himself first before talking to him.

He took in deep breaths, noting that the wind held a scent of rain. He quickly pushed that at the back of his mind, and concentrated on getting his nerves in a semblance of normalcy.

He closed his eyes and counted under his breath. When he felt he was ready, he opened his eyes.

And there, right across him, was Heero wrapped tightly in the arms of Mr. Peacecraft

Trowa's encouragements were drowned out by the incessant shrieking in his mind. All he saw was his old rival--Heero's boyfriend from high school--and the times when he saw the two of them together.

Heero and Mr. Peacecraft sharing an umbrella after school...

Heero and Mr. Peacecraft going home together in a car...

Mr. Peacecraft, near the school gates, calling Heero with his mobile phone, and Heero would rush to him, and the two would walk home together...

His hardbound book slid from his lax hands, and fell on the pavement with a soft thud. He blinked, willing his eyes away from the heartbreaking sight, and scooped up the book.

A few minutes later, his feet had already taken him someplace else. His face was damp, and he knew that it wasn't just caused by the rain.

"I should be going on my own merry way now," Zechs said as he pulled away from Heero.

"Where _are _you headed, anyway?" Heero asked.

"Double date, for lunch. After that, who knows. Actually, Une's going to be there, too--"

Heero's eyebrows raised in surprise. "I didn't know that the two of you are dating."

Zechs gasped, horrified. "No no no! You got it all wrong! You know I don't like females that way! And that's Une," he shuddered in repulsion. "Come on. She's my best friend."

Heero almost laughed at the look on his friend's face. "Then who's she dating?"

"Oh, I think you know her from high school. Lucrezia Noin ring a bell?"

_Lucrezia Noin...as in Duo's high school crush?!_ "Really? I didn't know that they knew each other."

The other man straightened his jacket. "You'd been away for seven years. Anyway, I doubt that the ladies will mind, but I don't like to make Treize wait." With that, he patted Heero on the shoulder in farewell, and briskly walked away.

~Standing in the rain,  
Cold in the raging storm,  
Under the fading glow  
Of an incandescent lamp;  
The asphalt slick against my boots,  
Reflecting the amber light  
In the darkness of the hidden sun;  
The ominous sky lets loose its tears;  
Likewise, I cry,  
And die  
Inside.

Snug in the comforting warmth  
Sharing a black umbrella for one  
Clothes rustling, shoulders brushing,  
Walking in sync across the busy road,  
Chatting casually--  
So closely  
You pass me by,  
Oblivious  
To the crashing sound of my heart.

You smile at him--I ache,  
Tremendously lonely,  
Drowning in my unshed tears;  
My soul burns In its saltiness.~

A drop of moisture slid down Duo's damp chestnut bangs, and pelted the page of the book that lay open underneath his gaze. He remembered the poem. It was the one he had written after he had seen Heero and Mr. Peacecraft crossing the street, both beneath a black umbrella, their bodies touching and arms around each other so that they'd fit under the protection from the rain. That was around seven in the evening, when he was busy with the school paper and he had to go home late. While he waited for Solo to pick him up, he had seen them leaving the campus together, and he was so jealous at that time.

He realized that, after what he had seen at the coffee shop, he was still jealous of them, and seven years had already passed.

_Why is it that the past is still trying to interfere? I already found Heero, and I was ready to talk to him about...about everything and then I'd see him in that--that longhaired...longhaired...longhaired-much-older-person's arms! _He silently fumed. _And why is it that I forgot to ask Trowa about them? Maybe I just pushed it at the back of my mind, and then when I saw them..._

He sighed heavily, and another drop of rain fell on the vulnerable page. _I promised Trowa I'd tell Heero, and I do intend to fulfill that promise. But...it's so hard to go through with it after...that._

He listlessly closed the hardbound book, and sighed again._ I'll just sit here for a few minutes, and then I'm going to look for him again._

After his encounter with Zechs, Heero walked quickly, but without a concrete destination. He walked for a couple of blocks, and he decided to go back to the hotel, hoping that Duo would be there already. To his disappointment, the braided man hadn't returned

He walked aimlessly again, letting his feet go wherever they wished. Then, to his surprise, he was already inside his restaurant.

His and Trowa's restaurant.

Prussian blue eyes blinked, a bit disoriented. When he spotted Trowa, there was a full two seconds when he felt that burning jealousy he had felt that morning, but as his best friend quickly made his way to him, everything in his mind clicked.

_I should've known to look for him here. Since they were together this morning, Trowa might know where Duo is! Baka! I was so jealous to realize earlier! Duo might even be here!_

The tall man caught a glimpse of him as well, and came hurriedly to his side, asking, "Has Duo talked to you already? Where is he? Everything's okay, right?"

Heero just looked at his friend, bewildered. "You mean, he's not with you?"

"Where the hell have you been?"

"I've been looking for Duo--"

"But he's also been looking for you!" was the uncharacteristic exclamation of his usually taciturn best friend. 

He blinked, a little nonplussed, but forged ahead with the question that he had been dying to ask Trowa. "Why is it that I saw you with Duo this morning, going out of the hotel, in your clothes from yesterday?"

Trowa's face was slightly pale.

_Trowa told me about what happened between him and Duo last night. I understand that Meiran only had the best intentions for the two of them, and I am glad that he did go to Duo. I've always wished that Trowa will be able to move on after Quatre's death; maybe by spending time with his late best friend's best friend, he will begin to heal._

_But I sensed that there was still something that he omitted._

_Whatever it was, it could wait. I finally have an idea where I might find Duo._

_I asked Trowa if Quatre mentioned anything about a place that Duo frequented. I know that it had been a long time, but maybe Duo would still fall back on his old habits._

_I hope I find him there._

Heero raced to the park, looking for an oak tree with a concrete bench, very much near a willow tree. The pathways were quite slippery because of the rain, and he constantly slipped on his feet whenever he had to traverse grassy areas. He didn't mind the accumulating mud on his leather shoes; he couldn't wait to find Duo and speak to him.

_This has to end. This chasing has to end right now._

Prussian blue eyes spotted a willow tree, and Heero ran to it as fast as his feet could take him. As he reached his destination, he found a form, clad in black, huddled on a concrete bench beneath an oak tree, seemingly asleep.

_Just a few minutes more, and then I'm going to the restaurant. Maybe I can go to Heero's house for dinner, or something. _He sighed. _Just a few minutes more..._

"Hn."

Duo's brows furrowed at the noise, and at the feeling that his solitude was broken. He hugged the hardbound book closer to him, and resumed his litany.

_Just a few minutes more...so tired...I'll get up...later..._

There was that noise again. Someone cleared his throat.

Duo glared. "What's the matter, pal--" he bit out, annoyed that his peace was disturbed. Then, his jaws dropped.He blinked. He gulped. 

The man in front of him raised an eyebrow, and smirked.

He grinned sheepishly. "Hey. Uhm...ahem. Uh...have a seat."

Heero indeed sat down beside him.

His body was taut as the silence between them stretched. He was not aware of how long they just sat there, seemingly ignoring each other. He just knew that the quiet should be broken, but he couldn't think of a way to do so.

_Aw, what the hell._ "Here," he said, thrusting the hardbound book--slightly damp from the previous rain--to Heero's hands. He felt Heero take the book, albeit a bit hesitantly. He didn't dare look at what the other man's reaction could be, so he looked the other way, trying to busy himself with looking at the drowned ants on the ground.

The silence stretched further, and then he heard suppressed laughter. _Oh great. So now he's _laughing _at me? What the hell is this? _"Aren't you going to take it?"

He blinked, and nearly snapped his head off from turning to regard the dark-haired man beside him. "Huh...what?"

He found himself presented with an old, battered-looking box. He blinked again. He seemed to blink a lot.

He took the box, and took off the lid.

Heero didn't know what to do. Yes, he had successfully found Duo, and yes, he _was _going to tell him and give him the box, but...

_Damn this shyness anyway! What am I doing, not doing anything?!_

His ears rang from the utter lack of noise, and he itched to just thrust the box to Duo's lap and be done with it.

"Here," the longhaired man mumbled, and a hardbound book nearly whacked his nose. He scowled a little, confused at its relevance, and took the book.

The first page greeted him...

~HY,

Your cameo appearances  
In dream-spun movies  
Prove that my soul  
Misses you.

DM~

...and he just found himself feeling warm, giddy, and smiling foolishly. He wanted to laugh out loud, and he knew that tears stung his eyes. The foolish smile widened to a full-blown grin. Laughing silently, he looked at Duo.

He shook his head at the sight, still smiling. He stretched out his arm to give the box to Duo. He waited for him to turn around and take it, but it seemed that the braided one was succeeding in busying himself with other sights. He coughed, trying to get Duo's attention, and said, "Aren't you going to take it?"

Violet eyes scrutinized every piece of paper as he rummaged through cut-outs, photocopied prints, and printed web pages. All of them bore either his name or one of his pseudonyms, and all of them bore a piece of his soul, and his Prussian-eyed love.

He was only made aware that he was sniffling when he heard it, and he chuckled. He wasn't sure if the sound of himself sniffling amused him greatly, or if the hilarity of the eternal goose chase finally caught up with him. Maybe both.

Maybe he was just happy.

Heero waited for Duo's reaction. It took quite a while for his tastes, but quelled his rising anticipation as it was obvious that the other man was a bit dazed at what he was seeing.

He saw a tear slide down Duo's cheek, and he held back his hands, not bending to the desire of wiping it away. _Why is he crying? _he worried. _Is he upset about this? Does he mind that I took some of his works? Is that it?_

The sound of Duo's sniffles made him shrink back, but his eyes widened as he heard soft chuckles issuing from the other man's delectable mouth. The sound was happy; it was tinged with something else, but it was definitely happy. 

Duo was happy, and he joined in, giving in to his laughter.

Violet eyes looked up quickly, as another sound penetrated the still-cold air.

Duo discovered how beautiful Heero Yuy's laughter was.

It didn't ring with amusement; no, he believed that it would sound very much different than what he was hearing. Mesmerized by the light in those striking Prussian pools, he didn't realize that he had moved closer, until all he saw was Prussian blue.

The sound of laughter had ceased, and there was a soft feeling beneath his lips. Duo smiled against the softness, and closed his eyes. He wanted to savor it, to lose himself in the warmth of those arms that he always dreamed of being in, to drown in that sea of feeling that only Heero could give. His jealousy was momentarily thrown out the window in favor of this, their first kiss. He couldn't stop smiling; he knew it was clumsy, but he just couldn't help himself. He felt like he was going to burst and rain cheery confetti on the whole world. He also couldn't help the tears from falling again. _Oh man, I am such a sap. If Solo could see me like this, I'd never hear the end of it._

He wasn't sure how long their lips fluttered on each other's, and when they parted he realized that he was already gasping for breath.

"You'll never guess how long I've wanted to do that," Heero whispered breathlessly.

"Let me guess," he said as he dropped kisses on Heero's face, "grade school?"

Heero smirked. "When in grade school?"

His eyes widened at the discovery. "You...? Since grade school?" he squawked._ Could he have possibly liked me during the time that I liked him?_

He received a nod. "I really liked you..._like this_...since fifth grade, but I always wanted to be close to you since first grade."

"You must be kidding," he tried to deny it, thinking that it must not be possible. "First grade? Come on, Heero."

Heero sighed heavily, and played with the end of Duo's braid. "You already forgot."

Duo's face scrunched up in adorable confusion. "What did I forget? What happened? Tell me!" 

The dark-haired man suppressed a groan as Duo wiggled in impatience on his lap. He held him closer, tighter, and rested his chin on Duo's shoulder. "You found me..."

"Maxwell is a fool. I hope his problem is solved by the time this day is over," Wufei said, as he set down his teacup.

Meiran nodded. "Seeing Duo gush over Heero Yuy is cute and sweet, but I'm already tired of hearing the same thing. Did you know that he's so into him since I've known him, and I've known him since we were high school freshmen."

"I've known him longer than that. I think he started spouting off love poems at eleven because of Yuy."

Treize raised his eyebrows. "That long?"

The rest gathered for lunch also had the same amazed look on their faces. 

"Well, Quatre--" Wufei almost stopped what he was going to say, as he felt the slight unease of the group at the mention of his late friend's name. "He'd known Duo much longer, so I'm not sure."

Noin looked around her, and broke the awkwardness. "But he had a crush on me when he was a freshman. He said so himself..."

"That's true," Wufei readily agreed. "But he's never stopped loving Heero."

"Well, I, for one, know how taken my baby brother is with that man," Une joined in. "I was doing general cleaning around the house when I found this old box in Heero's room. I was going to get rid of it, but when I saw the contents...did you know that he'd been collecting Duo's poems? The oldest date back to when they were in fifth grade."

Zechs chuckled softly. "I didn't know that he's such a softie."

"You wouldn't believe how sappy he is," Trowa joined in, shaking his head, as he came by the table. "And I've been suffering from it since we were in first grade--"

"First grade? How come?"

"It's like this, you see..."

"Oh, Heero, I'm so sorry!" Duo exclaimed, as he buried his face in Heero's neck. "I didn't mean to ignore you at that time! I forgot--I didn't see you! Honest I didn't!"

"Obviously," Heero said. It mattered nothing to him that Duo forgot. They were both just kids at that time, and every kid was always preoccupied with something.

"Forgive me?" Violet eyes pleaded at him irresistibly.

_There's really nothing to forgive, but... _"That doesn't concern me much anymore, Duo," Heero began, and saw those violet eyes light up. Duo started to inch forward to kiss him once more, but he hastily held up his index finger across Duo's lips, halting the intended kiss. "That was first grade, after all, but there is something that you must apologize for."

Duo suddenly looked as if he was sinking, and the sadistic part of Heero wanted to stretch the moment as long as possible. He wasn't going to let the longhaired man off the hook that easily, after leaving so suddenly and not giving him a chance to have his say in graduation day. "You left me, you know," he began, his voice a little gruff. "You gave me that letter and the next day, you were gone. Was that your plan? You had the luxury of letting out your feelings, but you didn't give me a chance to do the same."

"H-Heero, I--"

And then it wasn't the sadistic part of Heero playing anymore. He truly was hurt when Duo suddenly disappeared, and even if his love was already in his arms, there was still that buried anger and bitterness that he felt for him.

For years he blamed Duo; he also blamed himself for everything, but he didn't know who he blamed more. "We should have been together seven years ago at the latest, you know, not like this, when we're both already twenty-five. You made me wait so long. I asked Trowa if Quatre mentioned anything about it, but he didn't. For two whole months we were in the dark, and I never knew what happened. You just disappeared..."

Duo sagged in his arms, and felt him creep away from him and onto the remaining space of the bench. "Heero, I didn't mean to," he said, his voice low and barely audible. "Everything happened so fast. I couldn't get in touch with Q-man during the first month." His voice hitched. "I... I was busy and stressed and..." Sigh. "It felt like everything around me was spinning without control. I missed you guys, I really did, but I just couldn't tear myself away from my Dad.

"There were times when I wanted to call, to tell Quatre why I was taking so long. I told him that I would only be gone for a week, but--"

Moving closer, and lifting Duo's chin with his index and middle fingers, he asked, "What really happened, Duo?"

Heero had thought of the reason over and over after graduating. What he heard from Duo's mouth was something that crossed his mind, but it surprised him nevertheless. He felt humbled; he shouldn't have felt the need to blame anyone. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're right," Duo assured him, looking up at him with sorrowful eyes. "If only I talked to Quatre sooner, then I would have known about what you tried to do when I left. It wouldn't have had to be seven years, Heero. It wouldn't have had to be a year, even."

Heero just shook his head, determined to set aside the past. Now that he finally had Duo, just the way he'd always wanted, there was no place for regrets in their budding future. "Enough of the what-may-have-beens, Duo. We both did stupid things back then, but what's important right now is that we're here, like this. Together."

It was as if the actuality of their situation pressed itself onto Duo's consciousness only just then. Heero's last word suffused his every pore, which left him tingling at the realization. "Heero," he breathed, eyes alight with varying degrees of warmth, love, and not surprisingly, awe. "We're together. _Together._"

Heero's smile, warm like the sun, and peaceful like a stretch of undisturbed fields of green, overcame the slight disbelief in Duo's eyes. It was all true, all real. Heero's smile promised him that it's for keeps. "And nothing's going to change that," Heero murmured against Duo's lips.

Duo leaned forward, the promise and acceptance shining in his eyes. "Yes, Heero. Nothing will."

**. t h e e n d .**


End file.
